The Observer, February 18, 2005
Volume XXXVII, Issue 18
Free Speech Zone: University loses with impersonal attempts
To the Editor:
Dr. Hundert sent me an invitation to a complimentary lunch at The Case Club for turning 21. I turned 21 in early December, and today, some 71 days later, I got my gift from Case. I really wasn't expecting anything from Case. In fact, I didn't think I wanted anything from Case, besides maybe a discount on my tuition. Inside my birthday card are four people's names, and not one is mine. Some lady named Sue signed the slip for the free meal; there is an actual signed name that looks like Pwid Eltin, and then the famously pre-printed names of Eddy Hundert and Johnny Anderson. I know what Hundert looks like because I saw him on TV in May of 2003 with the PBL incident, but who are the other folks and why are they sending me the most impersonal birthday card of my entire life? Cleverly written on the back of the card is the real reason, in my opinion, in sending such a card. The back reads: "Please celebrate safely." The card is a lame attempt at getting me to drink juice and not gin. Well, since 71 days ago, I've become an alcoholic, now what guys? The card getting event was exciting, but certainly not worth the walk down the elephant stairs and into Fribley with a childish grin plastered to my face of, "Ohhh… I got a package… I wonder who it's from," to find out that I've been mail maimed by University automation once again. The solicitous attempt at winning my heart over (and wallet once I am an alumnus) is misguided and should be remedied. I think they should give me the dollar value of the meal from the Case club. Maybe even give me the Wittke award they won't give to Dr. Justik. Better yet, get me a body guard so I can walk around a few nights without brandishing my whistle, two crow bars, a flack jacket, air horn, and ninja stars. I am really not an alcoholic, so don't offer to buy me a drink.
The bottom line is that opportunity after opportunity, Case wastes their time and effort on attempts at making the students feel special, and add some bureaucratic "we're hosting a VP debate so you should like us and give us money when you graduate because we also gave you a free lunch one of four years you were enslaved to us" tagline instead.
Joshua Zarowitz
Undergradauate Student
