The Observer, April 8, 2005
Volume XXXVII, Issue 24
Aliens and adulterers invade theaters soon
I looked outside the other day and was stunned by a painfully radiant glow from up high. I remembered faint images of this so-called sun, but had forgotten its blinding power. This luminous resurrection signified the return of spring, and, hard on its heels, summer.
And of course, the sun is not the only shining part of summer; let's not forget the silver screen, which always unveils a few stars of its own for the hotter months. Fortunately, you need not fear cataracts from gazing on these releases.
Opening 5/19
Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith – Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor
Everyone knows this film will be a smashing success monetarily. It's such a juggernaut that no other major movies are even attempting to open against it. Questions have surrounded Revenge of the Sith since before the start of production: will it be able to break from the relative mediocrity of Episodes 1 and 2 and be on par with the original trilogy? More importantly; how many obsessive nerds will dress up and camp out to get first showing tickets at 12:01 a.m. that Thursday?
In the film's favor, several important questions will be resolved, most prominently the origin of Darth Vader's trademark mask. Such great expectation may very well result in letdown, but if George Lucas can satiate his masses, the movie might rewrite the revenue records.
Opening 6/29
War of the Worlds - Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins, Dakota Fanning
Another film that thinks it is too good to open on a Friday. Its previews have been very mysterious and minimally revealing. If Worlds can stick with such subtlety, maximum fright will ensue. Hopefully some people will think it's a news report like the radio adaptation of 1938. I, for one, hope to see packs of panicked people fleeing theaters.
Under Steven Spielberg's direction, Worlds is likely to be very well crafted and not absurdly over the top, as can easily happen with this sort of material. However, the acceleration of production (it was initially slated for a 2007 release until the studio issued a 2005 goal) may have affected quality. Still, after spending roughly $500 trillion on it, it should at least look cool.
Opening 8/5
3001 – Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard
The supporting cast features no big names, but both Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live) and Dax Shepard (Punk'd) are well-versed in eliciting laughs. Paired with Luke Wilson, this could be a seriously hilarious cast.
Adding to the hysteria is director Mike Judge of Office Space fame, working with the premise that Wilson and Rudolph are put into hibernation by a military project, then forgotten about until 3001. Upon awakening, they find that the rest of America has become incredibly dumb. In other words, it's set in the present.
Opening 8/19
Romance and Cigarettes – James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet
A screen musical about a man (Gandolfini) choosing between his wife (Sarandon) and his mistress (Winslet), Romance and Cigarettes boasts a deeply talented cast (Christopher Walken, Mandy Moore, Steve Buscemi) to complement the featured roles.
John Turturro both wrote and directed this film, and while his past efforts haven't been especially noteworthy, this new release is his first since 1998 and is getting higher praise than past efforts. So, as he said in The Big Lebowski, don't f" with the Jesus.
