The Observer, April 8, 2005
Volume XXXVII, Issue 24
SideTrax
Graduation looms around the corner for many of us: those who are seniors, those who are graduate students, and those who are on the seven-year program. And I have to say, it's scary for everyone. We are all asking, "Where are we going? What's next?" Some feel this fear more than others. Some of us are so scared that we end up paralyzing ourselves, intentionally defeating ourselves through our subconscious; sitting in our rooms and wondering about the meaning of life and the meaning of graduation.
What is it that makes graduation an emotional event for everyone? What is it that makes us so scared?
I believe that the fear that accompanies graduation from college is a result of two factors. First, we realize that with graduation from college, we truly may be alone after this. As humans, I think we have an innate fear of being alone. Humans long for connection. We communicate, we talk, we message, and we connect. If the entire world were to die in a major disaster and only one person was left behind, each and every one of us would dread to be that person, no matter how strong we believe we are.
The second factor that heightens this fear is the realization that the next step might be the "real world." The real world is not where we've all been in the past. We can pretend that college was a taste of the real world, but most of us had the nice cushy backing of our parents to fall on. Don't get me wrong, college did allow us to grow, to mature, and to learn to kick ourselves for our own stupidity. For most of us who are starting a job, there will be less room for dependence on our parents. Sure, some parents will catch you if you fall, but now, for the most part, it's your turn to catch yourself.
Graduation itself is not a new occurrence in our lives at this point. The cap, the gown, the speeches, they are all common facets by now. We know the procedures, we know what to expect. We've gone through the motions. The turnover of people is not even as uncommon as we may think. In fact, we have been experiencing this four-year turnover for the last eight years. Since high school, we've seen our senior friends leave, our freshman friends arrive, and ourselves move up in the ladder towards when it will be our turn to leave. We know that most of our relationships at this point in our lives are ephemeral. Few will follow us for the entire turnover period, and even fewer will last longer. We also know that what's next will be the "real world," at least that's what we're told every time.
I think the thing that bothers us most is the change. We get situated and comfortable in one situation and then we are forced to change our views, change our locations, change our friends, start over, every four years. As much as we've seen the change happen, we are never ready for it ourselves. And after a while, this turnover is tiring. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) the turnover and the change are what drive us through life. In work, there will always be those retiring and those starting anew. In life there will be those leaving this world and other coming in. Change is a constant force in life, and with graduation, we are forced to face it. Facing this change and acknowledging the fear makes us vulnerable. This is what makes graduation so scary.
