The Observer, December 9, 2005
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 13
Sex & Dating: Home for Christmas
As winter break approaches, couples across campus are panicking: four entire weeks without the boyfriend or girlfriend? Many couples will resort to extreme measures to see their partner over break: they will invite him/her to stay with their family. Aside from the huge potential of humiliation on the part of the host(ess) courtesy of his/her immediate relatives, this situation presents a number of awkward situations for the guest. Here are tips on handling the most common dilemmas.
The Hug: There's always that awkward moment when coming or going. What is the appropriate salutation? A smile? A handshake? Or a full-out bear hug? This is one of those situations where the mother will hopefully take the lead. If the mother hugs her daughter's boyfriend, the problem ends there – it is highly unlikely that the father will move in for the squeeze as well. The mother will probably hug her son's girlfriend – but if she doesn't, there's no way the father will hug her. If you are the visiting girlfriend and the mother hugs you, be prepared for a hug from the father. Whatever happens, try to be consistent in the future. If you hug the first time, just keep on hugging.
Sleeping arrangements: Hopefully, there will be a guest room for you to sleep in. If not, you may find yourselves in less-than-ideal locations (a cot in the sewing room, a couch in the basement, the floor of a sibling's room, etc.) Come prepared – bring a sweatshirt and warm PJ bottoms in case it's cold and not-too-revealing tank top and boxer ensembles in case the heat is on overdrive. If you do find yourself in the somewhat-awkward situation of sharing a bed in your partner's parents' house, do not have sex. No matter how much you want to, no matter how sure you are that everyone's asleep, sex in a parent's house is just an invitation for something horrible to happen. Keep your pants on and maybe you'll be invited back next year.
Family time: Every family is different, with its own set of rules and inside jokes. In a large family, it's easy to get lost in the chaos. In a small family, you might find yourself unwillingly in the spotlight – nothing is worse than getting the third degree for two days straight… except for the awkward silence when they run out of questions and no one can think of anything else to say. Prepare for your visit the way you would for an interview. Do some background research and try to come up with your own questions. Figure out what you have in common, think of funny anecdotes you could share, and do your best to keep people laughing. People like to laugh, and if you make them laugh, they'll like you, too.
Gifts: If you're visiting around the holidays, you should probably bring gifts. Don't buy anything too expensive, but also not too cheap. For the women of the house, stick with Bath & Body Works (or something of that nature) and a gift receipt. This way, you don't have to worry about sizes, it's good for all ages, and it can be returned virtually anywhere. Stick to the $12-20 range, maybe a sampler or a gift set in a cute bag. For the men, an iTunes gift certificate will work for high school to parent-age. If they don't have iTunes, you can offer to set it up for them. If advanced technology is not advisable, stick to a DVD and gift certificate. Make sure to get it from a store that carries books and CDs as well, so that it can be exchanged for their entertainment of choice.
