The Observer, February 3, 2006
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 15
Sex & Dating: Newsom's Day
A modern twist on Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day. Just one and a half weeks left. If you're in a relationship, you are probably already feeling the pressure to dazzle your partner with The Perfect Gift. On the other hand, if you're single, you may be tempted to take refuge under a rock to avoid feeling alone on this day that is set aside for couples to bask in the glory of their relationship. Many will comment on the hypocrisy of the holiday, which has been distorted from a celebration of love into a commercial extravaganza.
Why was this day set aside for couples originally? There have been three St. Valentines recorded by the Catholic Church. One legend explains that Valentine was a priest during the third century in Rome. "When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men – his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death." (www.historychannel.com)
In other words, a man performed marriages that were illegal at the time and today we still honor his memory. Because of his devotion to what he believed was right, loving couples were given the gift of sanctified marriage in the eyes of God, despite the laws of mere men. Unfortunately, many of us no longer even consider his sacrifice. For us, such a stand was never necessary; we have always been free to marry who we choose. Who among us could fathom the idea of the government preventing us from marrying the person that we love for purely political reasons based on a personal agenda?
I'll tell you who. The gay couple down the street, who will most likely celebrate Valentine's Day even though they are not privy to the freedoms that he stood for. And the lesbian couple across the hall, who will go out to dinner on Feb. 14 knowing that most people will assume they are two single girl friends out on a traditional couples' night. As it stands today, Valentine's message has only reached our ears, not our hearts. Love between two adults should not be prevented by the letter of the law. We have complied halfway: any man may marry any woman. The next step is up to us.
So this year, let's skip Valentine's Day. It only applies to some of us. This year, let's celebrate Newsom's Day instead. (Quick recap: Gavin Newsom was the mayor of San Francisco in 2004, when he allowed the first official marriage of a gay couple to take place.)
Newsom's Day will not be just for heterosexual couples who are already free to marry. Newsom's Day will be for all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation. It is in defiance of Issue I and all who seek to prevent the expression of love between other people of all based on their own personal beliefs regarding color, race, and sex. It will shift the focus from the hypocrisy of the commercialization to the hypocrisy of our society as a whole. On Newsom's Day, it will not be assumed that two girls out to dinner are just friends – it won't matter either way. On Newsom's Day, we will celebrate those who have fought for equal rights for all. On Newsom's Day, flowers and gifts will mean less, and the celebration of all loving relationships will mean more. Happy Newsom's Day!
