The Observer, March 3, 2006
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 19
Sex & Dating: The "Am I gonna get some?" Dating Guide
Let's be honest. If we know the chances of getting it on are good, we take special steps to prepare. We ladies will shave our legs and wear cute underwear – maybe with a matching bra! Guys, I hope you remember to shave, maybe double up on the deodorant, and hide the dirty laundry. This is a lot of effort – especially if you don't even end up getting any. So, take the quiz!
How did you meet?
A. At the library
B. In class
C. At a party
D. Downtown
What date number is this?
A. 0-1
B. 2-3
C. 4+
D. Does making out count?
How many sex partners have you had?
A. 0-1
B. 2-3
C. 4+
D. Too many to count
What day of the week is your date?
A. Sunday – Wednesday
B. Thursday
C. Friday or Saturday
D. Whenever you page him/her
Where are you going on your date?
A. Coffee shop, etc.
B. Dinner and non-party activity
C. Party
D. A motel
Were you drunk when you met?
A. No
B. Buzzed
C. Blitzed
D. Don't remember
How was the "asking out" phrased?
A. "Wanna study/do homework?"
B. "Wanna go to dinner with me?"
C. "I know a party with free beer."
D. "Looking for a good time?"
Right now, your date is probably…
A. Alone
B. With a few friends
C. Flirting
D. Having sex
What underwear will the girl wear?
A. cotton panties
B. boy shorts
C. thong
D. none
What underwear will the guy wear?
A. tighty-whities
B. boxer briefs
C. boxers
D. thong
So… are you gonna get some?
Mostly As: Don't worry too much about how your room looks. If this date goes anywhere, it will be first base while standing by the door. Guys still have to shave, ladies are in the clear!
Mostly Bs: You've got a good chance of seeing some action… but do you want to? Sounds like you have a respectable relationship going here; don't screw it up! (No pun intended…)
Mostly Cs: Make sure your roommate has somewhere to go, because you've got someone to do!
Mostly Ds: You're dating a hooker. Idiot.
