The Observer, March 10, 2006
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 20
Sex & Dating: Earn some Chipotle
To all of you headed off to some exciting, warm, exotic location for Spring Break: Bite me.
Sincerely,
All of us stuck in Cleveland/Ohio
Bitterness aside, it's time to look at the bright side of things. Even for people stuck in Ohio for break, there is one redeeming quality to next week: no classes. That means an entire week to stay up late, sleep in, watch TV, go out, and waste time in whatever manner we see fit. This is an activity every student can share, both within and outside of the United States. Just to make sure that each and every one of you is taking full advantage of the time at your disposal, here it is: a Spring Break scavenger hunt – your guilt-free to-do list that will guarantee your break is enjoyed to its fullest. Note: topics are not limited to sex and dating.
As you complete each item, make sure you have proof, preferably in the form of a picture. If you send the pictures to the Observer (Thwing A09, 11111 Euclid Ave) with your name and e-mail, the person with the most items checked off (with proof) will be awarded a $20 gift certificate to Chipotle and (if desired) the winner will be announced in the March 31 Sex and Dating column. Yes, I'm serious, and I am paying for the gift certificate myself. The deadline for entries is Monday, March 27. In case of a tie, the winner will be chosen at random.
Items:
1. A receipt from that new club/bar/restaurant you've been dying to try but have been to busy to visit. This could be Sushi Rock in Cleveland or the Hard Rock Café in Cancun, doesn't matter!
2. Give/take a body shot. It could be pop, liquor, orange juice, whatever… the point is, you lick it off. Yes, I need a picture for proof.
3. Treat yourself to a new look. A haircut, manicure, spray-tan, whatever you want. Either a before-and-after picture or a dated receipt will suffice for proof.
4. Buy a new bathing suit. Nothing reminds you that summer is on its way like shopping for a new swim suit. Proof: a receipt from any time in March, or a picture of you wearing it with tags!
5. Sleep in. To prove this one, I need a picture of you in your PJs next to your clock at some late afternoon hour.
6. Meet someone new and get their number. It doesn't matter if it's on a napkin, torn piece of paper, or a gum wrapper. Send in a photo… and remember to call him/her.
7. Duct tape your school books shut. This way, you won't be tempted to study during break, and you'll be able to focus on the more important things in life… like finishing this list! Once again, I need a picture for proof.
8. Buy some exotic condoms. Ribbed, extra large, studded, whatever. You don't have to use them, but here's hoping! Send in your receipt!
9. Buy some lube. Trust me on this one. You might want to buy them at the same time, it looks more natural. Once again, send in your receipt!
10. Go somewhere interesting that hasn't already been mentioned. The ocean, botanical gardens, Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame, or a museum are all great ideas, depending on your taste. The point is to get out and have fun! Happy hunting!
