The Observer, March 10, 2006
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 20
Spartan Spotlight: Alan Baribault
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Name, major, sport, etc.: Alan Baribault is a junior civil engineering major and competes in archery.
High school/hometown: Mount Mansfield/Jericho, Vt.
Years participating in archery: Three.
Who/what inspired you to participate in archery: I like shooting things. I've always liked shooting things. I mean, what could be better?
Hobbies/extracurricular activities: Delta Upsilon, cello.
Athletic honors: Second place at the Ohio Indoor State Championships in 2006.
Academic honors: Dean's High Honor's List, fall freshman year, nothing else since then.
Best archery memory: Shooting the last end at nationals.
Worst archery memory: Injuring my shoulder.
Favorite quote: "Belgium, man, Belgium." – The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: As a consulting engineer.
Something most people don't know about you: Howard Dean is my neighbor.
Joel Sanderson: What makes archery stand out from other sports?
Alan Baribailt: It's small enough so that you know people.
JS: So is your face. Sorry, I'm not clever today. If you could invite any three people to dinner, living or dead, who would it be and why?
AB: I would say, Nicolas Cage, because he is just so badass; Joel Sanderson, because he's creepy; Douglas Adams, because he wrote numerous funny books.
JS: Not only am I creepy, the ladies tell me I smell funny too. Would you rather have the strength of 1000 (wo)men, be able to hover, or breathe fire?
AB: Be able to hover, because I always have dreams in which I fly.
JS: I have dreams in which I meet women and converse with them, but that doesn't seem realistic either. If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
AB: Topher Grace, because he's always awkward.
JS: Yes, and poorly named. What's your least favorite thing about archery?
AB: Paperwork, for the sports club stuff.
JS: And they give you paper cuts, the most de-masculinizing injury of all. If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?
AB: I would just to do something crazy like streaking, something I would never do as a guy.
JS: Will Ferrell would go streaking, all the way through the quad to the gymnasium. If you could participate in any other sport, which would you pick and why?
AB: Hockey, because I like ice skating, and that's very heterosexual.
JS: So is your collection of Care Bears, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. What's the one thing that most people don't know about archery?
AB: The longest distance we shoot is about a football field.
JS: You'd be an excellent member of the kickoff team. I'll tell the Browns to sign you up. What's the weirdest nickname you ever had?
AB: Smelly.
JS: I'm not sure if that was a nickname or just an apt description of reality. But who am I to talk? What goes through your mind during a tournament?
AB: Just don't suck, or sometimes, stop sucking, or remember not to suck. I try to keep it varied.
JS: Variety is the spice of life. And sucking is the overcooked, spinach casserole of life. Finish this sentence: Archery is like a girl …
AB: Because the shafts are so hard to get in the target.
JS: Even getting the target to talk can be tough, particularly in the analogy where the target is an inanimate object. What sort of off-season training to you do?
AB: It's never off-season.
JS: Sound like the next Under Armor commercial. Goats or donkeys: which do you prefer and why?
AB: Definitely goats because they eat old shoes.
JS: I didn't know eating shoes was such a big deal. Bear versus lion, who wins?
AB: The bear, because size matters.
JS: Define size… on second thought, don't. Do you sing in the shower?
AB: Yeah, mostly Tenacious D. Whenever I'm showering I always think of Jack Black being in there with me.
JS: That's funny because I always think of Judy Dench, and they are basically the same person. What is one thing you'd like to do in archery that you never have?
AB: I would like to "scope," putting an arrow into the back of another, in the ten ring.
JS: You lost me at "scope." We'll pretend like you said "win," and just move on. What drives you to compete?
AB: This is my one shot, like Eminem said.
JS: The prophet only speaks the truth.
