The Observer, April 7, 2006
Volume XXXVIII, Issue 23
Sex & Dating: The State of Case's Unions
Among the many causes for complaint at Case is the dating scene – or lack thereof. There are a plethora of explanations for the lack of casual dating: the weather, heavy course loads, nowhere to go, even Cleveland itself. All of these are ridiculous. The dating scene at a college is not determined by the area or the courses, but by the students. If you have time to be the president of five clubs and double major in engineering and art history, you can squeeze in a quick drink at Wackadoo's.
The problem that Case undergrads face is their own attitudes. Students are reluctant to embrace the idea of casual dating as a great way to have fun and meet new people. While Case may provide a great academic education, one area where students desperately need instruction has been completely overlooked.
Let's start at the beginning. What does "casual dating" mean? (Hint: it does not mean getting drunk and hooking up at a party, then parting as "friends" the next morning.) Rather, it means making a plan with a person of the sex of your romantic interest and spending some length of time together. That's it.
All too often, overeager Case students mistake the opportunity to socialize for a fleeting chance to either establish a long-term relationship or find informal sexual gratification. Either way, the "casual" date is doomed to failure. Whether your focus is your date's heart or some other choice body parts, it will soon become clear that your intentions are not simply to go out and enjoy each other's company.
As a direct result of this compulsion, many Case students seize up in terror at the idea of agreeing to go on a date. Who wants to go out with a classmate who might propose or spend the whole night trying to get into your pants? It's much safer to go out in groups to parties or athletic events – no pressure, and you always have an escape plan.
To complete the vicious cycle, the trend towards group outings seriously limits the opportunities for casual dating, giving the occasional date an inflated sense of importance. When faced with the prospect of a semester full of dateless weekends, is it any wonder that we are so quick to jump the gun on the few dates we do have?
In addition, the rarity of dates causes others to place greater emphasis on your outing when they happen to see you. If you happen to have dinner with the girl down the hall, immediately people start to wonder… do you like her? You know, like her? It's like being in middle school all over again.
There is only one solution: date early and date often If you know that you have two dates lined up next week, Friday's date won't seem so important. You will be able to relax and avoid scaring your date by analyzing every move he/she makes. The more relaxed you are, the more fun the date will be. The more you ask other people out, the easier it will become. And the more people there are going out, the less people will be tempted to make a big deal out of it.
