The Observer, February 23, 2007
Volume XXXIX, Issue 18
Sex & Dating: Building the anticipation
So your Valentine's Day memories were great, right? So was New Year's Eve, your birthday, and even Thanksgiving. But it's a little while until the next holiday (Memorial Day?), so you will have to rely on something other than your calendar to make things a little spicier. An easy way to increase your excitement between the sheets without even changing your bedroom routine is by increasing anticipation. Remember how excited you got the day before you went to Disney World as a kid? It's like that, but waaaaaay sexier.
One great way to get excited about an upcoming romp is to discuss some of your juicy memories. Over cereal one morning, bring up something great that happened in bed last night or last week or whenever. "Remember that thing you did? Well, I can't stop thinking about it." Not only will it get both of you thinking about sex, it will reinforce your favorite moves. (Score.) Thinking about good sex memories gets you revved up for more sex. But if it's at a time when you can't have sex immediately (make sure of this!) then you're craving it all day. So hot.
If you're feeling more creative, try leaving a nookie scavenger hunt for your honey. Start out with subtle clues, like a note with a kissy face on it. Send your sweetie a text message telling her that you can't wait to see her that night and leave a time to meet. Slip a photo of you two kissing in your significant other's lunch. Drop some sexy lingerie in the bottom of your cutie's bag. Then use your camera phone to snap a shot of your unmade bed – the more rumpled the sheets the better! Top it off by sending a racy picture of yourself – as daring as you're willing to be. By the time your darling gets home you both won't be able to wait to get at each other.
To skyrocket things to an even racier level, discuss what you wish happened in bed – not just your past conquests. Talk about your wildest fantasies and agree to play one out the next time you meet. This can be fun via text message during work or class because it's so taboo but double check the number before you click send! To go even more wild, describe the fantasy as if it were an erotic novel, but refer to the characters as "you" and "me" to make it seem real. The slow, over-dramatized revelation of each sizzling detail will amp your anticipation in no time.
To get yourselves totally ready for the event, do a sneak preview beforehand. If you are planning for a tryst after classes, spend some time in the morning in bed together, but don't go too far. At the point where you both are dying for more, get up and brush your teeth for class. Your bodies will still be craving more attention and that will make the reward all the greater later. This can also work well before bed if you are planning for some a.m. loving.
To rev your partner for some fun in the morning, tease them in their sleep. Whisper sweet (or racy) things in their ears; stroke their back or side while they doze. This will get them ready for some more physical attention. You can even go a little crazier (read: sweet wake-up call) if you don't think it would scare them.
Extra anticipation is a golden element that allows your bedroom time to be much more satisfying without having to master a new mattress move. It makes the old and familiar oh so new and exciting. Go ahead, text her now.
