The Observer, March 2, 2007
Volume XXXIX, Issue 19
Sex & Dating: Dating 101
Sex is great and all, but sometimes you need to focus on the dating half of this column's purported purpose. The problem is, most people do not know how to plan a date. Let's assume there is someone you have your eye on in your Physics class.
The first step is to learn the person's name. Referring to someone as "cute artsy boy in plaid pants," or "that blond chick who always sleeps in the back row" is a good sign you need to do some reconnaissance. Introducing yourself to someone you find attractive may be intimidating, but it's the first step toward a date. Ask them for homework help, invite them to an event you're going to – just get creative.
Once you have their name, you can move on to phase two, getting to know them. Strike up a conversation with them. Find reasons to spend time with them in group settings. Facebook can be a great tool for getting to know someone, but be careful. If you learn someone's name one day and then start talking about their obscure taste in foreign films the next day, they may freak out and press charges. Think of your facebook stalker as a source for topics to bring up if the conversation dies.
After you have gotten to know them, you can start brainstorming date ideas. No two people are alike and therefore no two people have the same dream date. If you have no idea what kind of date they might enjoy, you need to re-read the previous paragraph. Be creative; a cliché date is easy to forget.
If he likes video games and you're both over 21, consider Dave and Busters, the food is decent and you can both act like kids again. He might even win enough tickets to get you a tacky stuffed animal, which you should pretend to like until you break up or he figures out better gift ideas.
If she is a fashionista, go get a manicure together before dinner. There is nothing wrong with a man getting a manicure – it is relaxing and lets people know you care about yourself. Plus I doubt any girl would forget a guy who gets a manicure with her.
If you can cook, try to whip up a meal for them. Find out what kind of food they like and look online for recipes. Be sure to try the recipe for yourself before the big date: nothing kills the mood faster than burnt lamb and over-saged potatoes.
Once you have come up with a date idea, run it past someone you know and trust. Sometimes ideas sound much better in your head. If you and your prospective date have mutual friends, run it past one of them. Mutual friends can also be helpful if you're stumped for date ideas.
You may also want to start thinking of clothing ideas at this point. A well-fitted shirt or stylish shoes may win you enough points to make up for a sub-par date idea. Consider fabrics like cashmere that beg to be touched. Make sure your outfit fits you well. You should not be able to fit more than two fingers between your skin and the waist of your pants. A fitted shirt or jacket accents your body and makes you look well-groomed. Speaking of grooming, consider booking a hair appointment if you've been getting shaggy recently.
Now that you have the perfect date idea, it's time to ask the lucky lad or lady. This can also be intimidating, but if you've gotten to know the person, you should feel more comfortable around them by now. Hopefully, they'll say yes and all will go well. Should you not fare as well, try not to take it to heart. Some people just weren't made for each other, but you could have just made a great friend.
