The Observer, April 6, 2007
Volume XXXIX, Issue 23
Spartan Spotlight: J.R. Doolos
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Essentials: J.R. Doolos is a senior from Northmont High School in Clayton, Ohio. He is a banking and finance major and pitcher, designated hitter, and first baseman for the baseball team.
Hobbies/Extracurricular activities: Lifting and drinking protein shakes.
Athletic honors: UAA first-team and co-athlete of the week.
Academic honors: I'm getting into grad school.
Favorite athlete: Catfish Hunter, because he could pitch and hit the long ball.
Years participating in baseball: 18.
Who/What Inspired you to play baseball: Pete Rose.
Jeffrey T. Verespej: Just like James Frey inspired me to write. Best baseball memory?
J.R. Doolos: Beating the number one ranked team in the nation.
JTV: That's awesome. Worst baseball memory?
JR: Accidentally walking in on Thuermer naked.
JTV: I can't believe you just made air quotes. What's it like to play at Nobby's Ballpark?
JR: Like playing at Yankee stadium, except better because our fans are sweet and we have Chip Dean.
JTV: Well we'd be fickle too if our stars went sunbathing on the quad. What's something that most people don't know about you?
JR: I once fought a grizzly bear and won, but unfortunately I fractured my left femur and slightly twisted my ankle, injuries which still haunt me today. It's hard to get through the day with the pain sometimes.
JTV: I didn't realize it was tall tale hour. What goes through your mind during a game?
JR: Who's that cute blonde sitting by the dugout?
JTV: Once again, very similar to Yankees Stadium. If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
JR: Probably Arnold Schwarzenegger.
JTV: Terminator, Jingle All the Way, or Governor Arnold? Each is very different. What's your least favorite thing about baseball?
JR: Jock itch.
JTV: Tell that to the people who don't play sports but still have it. If you could leave Case, where would you go?
JR: The moon, after we harpoon it of course.
JTV: Oh come on, you know that was staged. We never landed on the moon, ask Marshall Faulk. Favorite quote?
JR: I'll have my omelet over easy.
JTV: We aren't at Denny's. Speaking of that, if you could invite any three people to dinner, who and why?
JR: Pam Anderson, Carmen Electra, and Marilyn Monroe because I'm sure all would have a mouthful to say and I'm sure it would be an enlightening conversation.
JTV: A mouthful is a good way to describe it. If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?
JR: I don't think you really want to know.
JTV: I'll take your word for it. If you could play any other sport, which would you pick and why?
JR: Golf, because beer comes to you and you don't have to run.
JTV: Don't forget that girls usually bring the beer too. Just something to think about. Would you rather have the strength of 1000 men, be able to fly, or be invisible?
JR: Well, since I already have the superpowers with double Phiten-ation, I would have to go with invisibility.
JTV: Yeah those bracelets really turn you into the Incredible Hulk, I can tell. What would we find in your locker right now that might surprise us?
JR: A pair of tights.
JTV: I rest my case. Anyway, what's it like being a sex symbol to millions of lonely Case girls?
JR: Sorry ladies, seat's taken.
JTV: Way to be a big tease. Lastly, do you know what a coxswain is?
JR: If I had to guess, I would say a type of bird indigenous to the island of Australia.
JTV: You may be right. No one really knows.
