The Observer, October 13, 2006
Volume XXXIX, Issue 7
Views on interracial dating discussed
When you see a person of the opposite sex and opposite race walking down the street holding hands with a person of another race, how does that make you feel? Angry, sad, happy, apathetic? Each person has their own view point on interracial dating. Some agree with it while others cannot imagine themselves doing it. The purpose of this column is not to argue for one point of view or another. It is to try to bring each perspective to light, and help opposite parties understand the different aspects of this controversial issue.
The one thing I can remember from my two and a half hours of "France and Islam" class is that the French had exotic ideas about Muslims and harems. People are attracted to others who are easily accessible and are unknown. I'll admit as a black man I've "sampled" the other races while also finding myself curiously attracted to girls of other more exotic ethnicities such as Indian or Latino women. There is something about wanting what you can't have or simply not being able to get it.
While one would think that someone of your own race would naturally share many of the same interests as you, this is far from the truth. Some people are even "repulsed" by or just tired of their own race. They see the stereotypical flaws in their own people and want to pursue something else. While the stereotype of a black woman is that they are loud, a black man could try to recognize this in any black woman and be disgusted by it. So they look for other dating alternatives.
The faults of one race can be seen as attractive in another. If a white girl was thick (not fat but a little bigger than "normal") with a big butt, she might be seen as fat by a white guy but attractive by a black guy. Sometimes the ones who do not follow the trend of attractiveness in a race can find acceptance in other races.
While there are many factors for why one would not date outside of one's race, an important reason includes social stigmas. In the black community, an individual can meet a lot of opposition to walking into a room hand-in-hand with someone of a different race. Rumors start to swirl, trash talk runs rampant, and images are destroyed. These social weapons are strong enough to prevent one from dating outside his or her own race.
The differences between varieties of races can create barriers in ethics and conversation. For example, anyone remember the book The Joy Luck Club? Remember how the white boyfriend pours soy sauce in the Asian mother's cooking when she was complaining of how bad her cooking was? Every Asian person at the table recognized that she only wanted a compliment. Because of the customs in the culture and race, no one dared to pour soy sauce. Some things are not and cannot be understood by others outside of the race. What about when you come from a hard day of class and feel you have suffered from racism? It may be difficult to explain how you feel to someone who has never felt the same way and cannot understand your feelings.
While both sides have reasonable points, it is difficult to take a stance on the issue. Whether you like it or not, race plays a gigantic role in our society. This topic will be raised in either conversation or experience. I hope this column can help you define your feelings and thoughts.
