The Observer, December 7, 2007
Volume XL, Issue 13
Spartan Spotlight: Michael Stork
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Basics: Michael Stork is a third year from Moreland Hills, Ohio, about 10 miles southeast of Case. He's majoring in anthropology and plays hockey for Case.
Chris Lambert: How would you sum up your experience on the hockey team, so far?
Michael Stork: It's been a good time; hockey is always fun. The guys on the team are cool, but everyone knows that.
CL: I get it, they're cool because they're on ice. You know what else is cool because it was on ice: Mighty Ducks movies. What's your best hockey memory?
MS: Winning in a shootout.
CL: That's what made Mighty Ducks 2 such a classic. What's your craziest hockey memory?
MS: Watching Rob Walls make superhuman saves.
CL: Goalies are superhuman. They stand there while people fire rock-hard pucks right at them. It's a ballsy job. Ironically though, the Mighty Ducks had a girl goalie on their team: Julie "The Cat" Gaffney. What's your favorite thing about Case?
MS: My friends.
CL: Friends are really the fuel that keeps us going at this place. What was your dream job as a kid?
MS: Probably ghostbusting.
CL: Me too, for a while. Then I wanted to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle; then a power ranger. Now, I want to be Bear Grylls. What's your favorite thing about Cleveland?
MS: The weather. And complaining about living in Cleveland.
CL: I hate the wind. Complaining is fun. Favorite TV show?
MS: SCOLA Italy.
CL: I wish I did follow-ups so I could find out what that is. Alas. What do you consider to be the best "classic" TV show?
MS: Is South Park classic yet?
CL: No. What's the worst movie you've ever seen?
MS: Anything on the Sci-fi Channel.
CL: Sci-fi Channel originals are actually subliminal advertisements for Matthew Lesko's book on how to get money from the government. Best place to have fun in Cleveland?
MS: My apartment.
CL: Cool. Finish this sentence: Case Western Reserve University has…
MS: A terrible smoking policy.
CL: Cool. What's your biggest fear?
MS: God really does exist.
CL: Cool…Good thing I haven't queried as to what you do in your free time. I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's your goal in life?
MS: Having kids, eventually.
CL: That's a good goal. I have the same one. I want a son, then a daughter. My son is going to be named Christopher Jeffrey Herschel Lambert, the Second. And my daughter is going to be named Christopher Jeffrey Herschel Lambert, the Third. Favorite quote?
MS: "There is grandeur in this view of life," by Charles Darwin.
CL: How do you feel about Facebook applications?
MS: The flickr app is cool, if you like photography.
CL: Who is the best superhero of all-time?
MS: My roommate Joe, he's the current Batman.
CL: Case has a lot of caped crusaders. I don't know their real names, only their costume names, but there's Cat Boy, Witch Woman, Cloak Man, The Kilted Wonder, and the Dynamic Unicycle Twins. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I've encountered. What are you doing when you're finally free from here?
MS: Being poor, unfortunately.
CL: Good for you. I wish you the best of luck.
