The Observer, February 15, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 17
Worst Case Scenario: Old school V-Day
At first blush, Valentine's Day seems like a great idea. There are a lot of candies and gifts. You don't have to worry about some imaginary jolly fat man who has to creepily squeeze down your chimney. The presents that are given allow you to express your most tender feelings, all while embarrassing the recipient. Its religious significance is buried so far in the past that it even works well across differing beliefs and creeds. There are no drawbacks! Well, almost none.
To say that Valentine's Day is a bit of a bummer for the unattached is putting it mildly. Many of these souls celebrate a different holiday on February 14th: Singles Awareness Day. Even when you're not single, though, Valentine's Day can be a bit of a letdown. I was in a relationship last Feb. 14, and for the life of me, I cannot remember what we did to celebrate the day.
This year, though, I wanted to rock Valentine's Day old school. I wanted valentines, candy, flowers – the works. As soon as the stores put out their Valentine's merchandise, I was buying bobble-head pirate cards and mini-size chocolates. I was gratified with how well I had planned in advance – though I did end up having to go back to the store a couple times since I kept eating all the candy. I was so excited. I even helped plan a party.
When the aforementioned party rolled around, I wasn't as giddy with delight as I'd imagined I'd be. I was less than enthused about attending after a 10-hour day of classes, but after dragging myself to the party, I perked up a little bit. I hadn't seen so much candy since I was in sixth grade, receiving obligatory valentine treats from my peers. Unfortunately, the candy just didn't sit that well this time around. I can't digest Nerds, mini-Snickers, candy hearts, Skittles, and heart-shaped cookies like I used to. And then they brought out the piñata. It was massive – the size of an anvil, and about that heavy, filled with a selection of candy that would have made Willy Wonka jealous. Our half-hearted attempt to hoist the monstrosity failed when the rope holding it ripped clean through the papier-mâché, and when it crashed to the floor, it was every man for himself. It was just too much. We gathered it all together, put it in a big bag, and promised that someday we'd feel like eating it. That was the end of the party.
In the sugar-induced aftermath, I have to ask myself if Valentine's Day is worth all the psychological (and physical) pain we put ourselves through trying to have a good time. After much deliberation, and a copious helping of Pepto Bismol, I have to conclude that perhaps we would be better served spreading it out a little. I don't mean that we should make every day a Singles Awareness Day. But it would be nice if we didn't need a holiday to give small gifts and expressions of appreciation. Valentine's Day is not about exclusion – it's about letting those we love, romantically and otherwise, know how much we appreciate them. We should probably let them know that a little more often. Thus, I resolved this Valentine's Day to carry a bit of the Valentine spirit in my heart all-year-round – especially since I'll be carrying the candy around on my hips for at least that long.
