The Observer, February 15, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 17
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: The Woes of Branding
Some things never change on campus. There are issues, ideas, and idiosyncrasies that have plagued this campus like the bubonic plague on a 14th century European village. My senioritis has given me lots of time to reflect on my past four years here and those plague-filled ideas which refuse to go away. Here are my personal records and evaluations of some of those issues.
The first of these gems decided to descend upon me like a heavenly turd before I even reached this school. I applied proudly to a school that I thought was called Case Western Reserve University. I reported this to my family, friends, and pretty much anyone who would listen. I was proud. I got into a prestigious school. Or so I thought, until people constantly asked where that community college was located. My work through high school was crushed like the manhood of Mr. Betty Friedan. It wouldn't matter soon though, for I would be in college at a well-established institution.
Once I made it to college, I was told that I no longer went to Case Western Reserve University, but a new, rad place named Case. The name change came in a box set which included a fancy new logo, which of course we all know resembled a fat man with a surfboard. Unfortunately, whoever purchased this didn't ask for a users manual. Not a single student, faculty, or staff member could explain to me what this lemon of a logo represented. Somehow the entire campus got duped, was told that it was duped, and continued to sit and clap along like a bunch of windup toy monkeys with little fezzes on their head.
Fortunately, the Western Reserve alumni came to their senses and tried to clean up the situation. It is a pity that during the process they tripped and sent the whole thing crashing to the floor. They were not impressed that "Western Reserve" was no longer big and boisterous in the title. And to remedy this problem, they apparently looked to the youth of America. They took their ball and went home.
What ensued was a painful bout of branding discussions and committees designed to mediate this alumni vs. president cage match. This looked like a step in the right direction, and there was much rejoicing. But somewhere along the line people finally got used to good old Mr. Case in bad need of stomach staples and the next gnarly wave. So when it was announced that the campus would go back to the old name and a hipper version of the old logo, I had a mini stroke.
What is frustrating is that this war, like most wars, had very little impact on those coordinating the assaults. I have to ask, why do alumni donate money? I would guess it is for the same reason presidents fundraise: to ensure that the campus population can constantly strive to its full potential. I feel that this war caused the general campus population a lot of time, money, and energy trying to please what appeared to be a bunch of eight year-old administrators and alumni throwing a giant temper tantrum. In the end, it seems that this whole war could have been avoided if we all just acted like adults and set our pride aside and work toward better student life, research, and general campus morale.
