The Observer, February 15, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 17
Top 10 Ways to overcome heartbreak
Once your heart is broken, it feels like life cannot get any worse, and no one can prepare you for that sunken, depressed feeling. However, you can learn how to help yourself and dig yourself out of the feeling-sorry-for-yourself rut when the going gets rough. Here are the top 10 ways to get over heartbreak.
10. Ben and Jerry's. Half-baked pints of ice cream don't solve your problems, but they sure do numb your brain for a while. Even though there isn't a B&J's store nearby, most grocery stores carry their most popular flavors.
9. Carly Simon. If the classic hit "You're So Vain" doesn't do it for you, find the best self-empowerment song you know, play it as loudly as possible, and sing along as loud as your lungs will allow.
8. Tearjerker movies. There are always new romantic films, but the classics such as Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Notebook are guaranteed to let out some emotions. Even special episodes of the cult series Sex and the City can be the best way to wallow.
7. Channel bad energy into good. Feeling sad guarantees a bit of craziness. It is possible to channel that negative energy into something positive and creative. Instead of dwelling on bad memories, work harder in school or find a hobby.
6. Cry. Crying is like sleeping. It is necessary for human existence, but is apparently really un-cool to participate in. This needs to change. Just as sleeping refreshes the body, crying is healthy, and ensures some release in the aftermath.
5. Put on a good face. Moping around in Case sweatpants in the privacy of your own room is one thing, but eventually you have to put on the "red dress," actually take a shower, and face the world confidently. Looking great doesn't hurt either.
4. Stop sulking. Once you are done crying your eyes out, its time to go out. Sitting around feeling depressed is OK for a certain period of time, but eventually you just have to move on.
3. Friends. Besides your mother, it is safe to say that there are some friends that are so special, you can depend on them for anything. This generally includes having them there to do something fun, complaining their ears off, and supplying endless hugs and advice.
2. Understand yourself. My mom told me recently some very insightful information. "He clearly doesn't like you, so just move on." Harsh, but so often this is the case. In the end, all you have is yourself. The most important thing is to look out for your best interests, and understand what your needs are. Even if you are alone, it won't be so bad if you are OK with yourself.
1. Stick up for yourself. If someone hurts you, say something. Whether it is a breakup, a fight with a friend, or something much more serious, silence is the worst path to go down. It doesn't matter if it seems trivial, because feelings should not be messed with, especially not by the people closest to you. If you didn't care about these people, chances are that you wouldn't care about how you were treated by them. Instead of worrying about how your friends will see you, its time for all of us to grow up a little bit, and know when to stick up for ourselves.
