The Observer, September 7, 2007
Volume XL, Issue 2
Worst Case Scenario: I think I hate my roommate
A college student's worst fear: getting stuck with that horrible roommate who doesn't shower, never leaves the room, and just generally annoys the crap out of anyone he or she comes in contact with. Sends shivers up the spines of even the most hardened freshie.
It's not that having a roommate is that bad. Well, you do have to spend a lot of time together in the same not-quite-large-enough space. You do have to deal with the fact that they don't like any noise to disrupt their beauty sleep. And you do have to deal with the awkward concept of the sock over the doorknob.
Wait. Now that I think about it, having a roommate really can be that bad. But– and this is important – it doesn't have to be.
Getting a roommate is actually a lot like getting married. Except it's an arranged marriage. And it's an arranged marriage worked out by people armed with only a vague idea of what you would like your relationship to be like. Part of the problem could be the questions the housing coordinators ask. Maybe rather than "Do you view your room as a quiet study area or a relaxed socializing area?" they should ask, "Do you produce any obnoxious sounds or noxious odors that your roommate should be aware of?"
Regardless of the insufficiency of the housing coordinators in selecting your perfect partner, your roommate relationship is one that you are stuck with, till May 2008 do you part. It falls to the two of you, as roommates, to make the relationship better. Here are some tips that may prove helpful:
1. Avoid co-dependency: Maybe you should see other people. This phrase may just be the kick in the pants your roommate relationship needs. At worst, you'll get to know a lot of annoying people who can help diffuse your pent-up anger at your annoying roommate. At best, you can find friends who share your interests, care about you, and won't leave garbage all over the room.
2. Don't be afraid to "take a break": If your roommate relationship gets too rough, or you just need some alone time, there are a lot of places where you can just hang out for a while. You can go to Nord Atrium or stay in a friend's room. If your roommate problems get really serious, you can also head over to the Refuge on the second floor of Clarke Tower. The Refuge offers a safe, single-room environment for you to relax. It's also far cleaner than any other dorm I've ever seen.
3. Know your own weaknesses as a roommate: I once fell into a mild depression and for several weeks sat in my room, playing "Mad World" and "Bleed Like Me" on an endless loop all day long. Try not to pull an "Anne." Show your roommate a little respect, even if it just means slipping an upbeat show tune into the playlist every once in a while.
Rather than end with the numerous ways you can humiliate, denigrate, and destroy your roommate if they refuse the olive branch, I'd like to accentuate the positive. Even if you have to spend them with an awful, horrible, Satan-esque roommate, there are still only 52,704,000 seconds left in the school year!
