The Observer, March 28, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 22
The Prank Code
As the school year winds on, we all find ourselves in the middle of spring. Spring in Ohio is associated with many different things, such as flowers, love, and usually a week-long hangover of winter weather after every single tease of a nice day. Spring also signals the coming of April Fools, when every ass on this campus seems to convene around me, point to something on my shirt in a questioning manner, and then promptly hit me in the face when I look to see at what they are pointing. This is then followed by them snickering and me punching them in the face.
This got me thinking about some of the good and bad pranks that have gone down on this campus. Unfortunately, pranks have been as rare as supermodels occupying my bed. If you are thinking of remedying this problem during your tenure here at Case, do me and the rest of the campus a favor, pretend you are a narcissistic beach bum, and note this reflection.
A Good Prank: A good prank should cause no one harm. (Not to say that some people don't deserve to be harmed. That is just not a prank; it is a public service.) It shouldn't cause major damage or garbage, and if you are really good, clean itself up. A good example can be found on Google Video by searching "Kelvin Smith Slip Slide." This is a wonderful example of people who have far too much time on their hands pulling off a wonderful disruption in a library. Other examples of very well-executed pranks include "Dancing Chalkboards" and "Pac-Man."
A Borderline Prank: There is a story which some people on campus might remember. On a wonderful winter's morn, after a fresh snowfall had covered all in its glory, this infamous prank occurred. Some students found, upon venturing out to the frozen tundra, a very elaborate snow sculpture. There was a detailed television facing a robust easy chair. In said easy chair was a very well built elephant enjoying itself by… caressing a certain accentuated member of its body. While this is most likely a case of sexual harassment, a number of students thought it was quite funny based on its level of detail and the ridiculousness of the situation, not on particular parts of the elephant's anatomy. If you choose to work on this level of prankage, do so at your own risk.
A Bad Prank: Penises and boobs. Except for structures similar to the aforementioned sculpture, penises and boobs are not funny no matter where you draw them, build them, or create them. No one needs to see your anatomically incorrect version of body parts. If someone really does need to see these things, they can look in a textbook or, if they want examples on the large side of the spectrum, the Internet. Please, stop drawing them in the residence halls and bathroom stalls. College students should have a little more maturity than that.
