The Observer, March 28, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 22
Spartan Spotlight: Kenneth Nguyen
Kenneth Nguyen is a junior tennis player who majors in biomedical engineering. (Apparently kids do stay with that after their freshman year.) He hails from Midlothian, Va. and doubles as a Case R.A.
Greg Meyer: What inspired you to play tennis?
Kenneth Nguyen: My height. After watching all of my friends grow and I did not, I realized that my NBA career was over.
GM: So much for the Asian Steve Nash. What's the one thing most people don't know about tennis?
KN: After watching Joe Smetona, I realized you don't have to be coordinated to be good at tennis.
GM: So we aren't going to see any back-turned-behind-the-legs shots from you guys? What exactly goes through your mind during a match?
KN: Who's that girl in the stands…oh, wait. There is no one here to watch us play.
GM: Not true. I watch as I'm walking towards the back door at Veale after a lift. Well, maybe just the girls' team. If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?
KN: Be Natalie Portman so I could have the honor of going on a date with Zach Newman.
GM: Uh… I hope you aren't the R.A on an all-guys floor. What do you do for fun around here?
KN: Work with polymers, take long walks on the beach, and try to do magic like Brian Cromer.
GM: I heard some of you guys aren't allowed to date on the tennis team. Guess the long beach walks are out. What are some of your academic honors?
KN: Being on Dean's List.
GM: Who the hell is Dean and why would you want to be on his list? How about athletic honors?
KN: Being called athletic.
GM: Hey, that puts you ahead of most people on campus. What is your best sports memory?
KN: Anytime Allen Ye hits his big forehand.
GM: Wow, you really are un-athletic. If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
KN: Either Jackie Chan or Jet Li. Though in reality, it doesn't matter because we all look alike.
GM: What about William Hung? I heard he is into acting now. What would we find in your locker right now that might surprise us?
KN: Having a flyer supporting Max Weber for Weatherhead USG Rep., having Elisse Cortez's agenda for her presidential campaign for senior class president, and having an NCAA bracket that says Davidson over Wisconsin.
GM: Stephen Curry is a baller. Finish this sentence: Sports is like a girl…
KN: …because the more balls you hit, the better you get.
GM: Kenny, I think you need to find another girlfriend. What is the high point in the tennis season?
KN: Hitting the weight room hard, so that I could bench the bar.
GM: Hey, not everyone can start out as huge as I am. Give it time. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
KN: Being the renowned NFL draft expert, having replaced Mel Kiper as ESPN's sole draft analyst.
GM: You definitely have the hair, but do you know what a Tampa 2 scheme with a safety rolled over can do to an offense? What's your favorite quote?
KN: "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, as long as you win."
GM: Is that what coach Rahn told you guys toward the end? Who is your favorite athlete?
KN: Of course it's Roger Federer.
GM: If you meet him, do you think you could grab me one of those razors with the five blades on it? Would you rather have the strength of 1000 men, be able to fly, or be invisible?
KN: Fly, so I could be lazy and fly like Superman to the quad every day.
GM: Would you don the cape and red underdrawers? Any insight on how the season is going so far?
KN: Coach Debs is amazing! Maybe he could get me a job with the NFL…
GM: Sure thing. Right after he gets me drafted.
