The Observer, April 4, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 23
Summer relationships
As the end of the semester is approaching, everyone is scrambling to figure out what they're going to do over the summer. Some people are going home, some are staying on campus, some have internships, and some are taking classes. Wherever your summer plans bring you, if you're in a relationship, there is a really hard question to answer: is it still worth pursuing? I'm sure there are plenty of couples who will be separated by distance this summer, but even if you are both going to be in the same place, the feeling is completely different. Between going to class and meetings, you make time to see each other during the academic year, maybe a few times a week. But over the summer, you could go from spending time together occasionally to spending no time together at all. No matter the situation, here are some things to keep in mind about how relationships change based on a change of environment.
If you're going to be in different places this summer, don't think you need to break up right away. On the other hand, don't think that you need to fight all the odds to stay together. A relationship should never be a fight, because that means one or both people are forcing themselves to want it. When distance separates two people, I personally feel that it is a real test of compatibility. Obviously if you want to stay together, you will have to keep in touch, which means lots of e-mails and phone calls. If your compatibility is good, both of you will actively communicate and update each other frequently, and besides not seeing each other, it will be like nothing has changed.
However, that's much easier said than done. The trick here is not to get too used to life without the other person and still remember that they are a part of your life. Going a few days without a call or e-mail is the first sign on the highway to breaking up as a result of distance. If you don't have natural motivation to keep up communication, then start thinking about whether or not it's still worth pursuing over the summer. But don't lose faith! If you really care about each other and belong in this relationship, the distance will show you whether or not it's the real thing.
If you're going to be in the same place this summer, don't necessarily think that it will be paradise being able to see each other all the time. Believe it or not, all relationships require at least some distance sometimes to grow and for the feeling of love to develop out of missing the other person. Of course you can accomplish this by spending a ton of time together, but think about it like this: most people have a roommate their first year at Case nowadays. There are times you love your roommate, and then there are times they drive you crazy. Even though being in a relationship with a person who you see all the time is different, eventually their little habits will begin to wear on you. It sounds a little romantically sadistic, but sometimes a little individual alone time every now and then makes the relationship stronger because you learn to value the time you spend together.
