The Observer, April 4, 2008
Volume XL, Issue 23
Greek Grief
It's that time of the year where chugging, bad skits, and strangely erotic physical bouts of men and women covered in mud are, in fact, encouraged by the university. That's right, folks: Greek Week is here.
Greek life at Case has somehow managed to avoid the standard stereotypes which propagate through pop culture in the same way that nerds tend to avoid the propagation of STDs. Greek life members here are supposed to be the leaders, since 88 percent of USG, 78 percent of UPB, and 65 percent of Orientation Leaders are Greek. So, on this campus, instead of wondering who their next big bang is going to be, they wonder what organization can be taken over next.
Greek Week is a time for all Greeks to come and show their pride. However, the only pride I usually find here is how one chapter narced another chapter for somehow breaking some smidgen of a rule followed by a bunch of caddy banter which is reminiscent of the standard sorority stereotype. This usually doesn't frustrate me, but what does bother me is when the entire event monopolizes public interest like a van painted with "Free Candy" parked outside an elementary school.
I had the pleasure of attending the first Greek Week event, Greek III, this past Sunday. Greek III involves herding all the Greeks into Strosacker so they can listen to a speaker. Now, about 30 percent of the undergraduate population is Greek, so roughly 1200 students are strongly encouraged to show. The fire occupancy of Strosacker is reported to be just fewer than 600 people. I know that there was more than 50 percent attendance, because all five exits were blocked by an enormous amount of people. After the speaker finished, it took me about 5 minutes to filter out of the room, which, by careful calculations, corresponds to a minute of panicking, two minutes of sizzling, and two minutes of extra crispy, felony style.
If the fear of flaming fratricide wasn't enough, the speaker was no shining beacon of Greek excellence. The Dating Doctor, the man the movie Hitch was based on, gave a stunning oratory that would make Flora Stone Mather and her women's center livid. Greek Life here has spent countless amounts of time and energy fighting the stereotypes of Greek Life, and then they bring a speaker in whose act is centered on stereotyping men and women with random penis jokes scattered about in the middle. What surprises me is that the program has been here two times in the past four years.
This single event has portrayed an image of Greek life that is not particularly pleasant. It would seem that Greek life is above standard safety laws and fighting negative stereotypes. Now, I am pretty sure that is not what Greek ife believes in, but I would have trouble defending them at this point.
