The Observer, September 21, 2007
Volume XL, Issue 4
No need to settle down
As Case students, I'm sure we've all played the 'settling game' at some point in our lives here so far. We settle for exam and paper due dates, living with our roommates, whatever Leutner is dishing up, and for the Case dating scene. However, that doesn't automatically mean that we should settle for relationships we don't want. By settling for someone that you aren't sure if you like (or maybe don't like altogether), you're paving the way for future frustration and possible resentment. Then again, putting up with someone you don't like seems just as tedious a task as it is to search for the perfect biomedical engineer who is smart, attentive, and romantic all at the same time. So how do you know if it's worth the wait for real love?
First, it's important to recognize how settling for someone begins. A lot of people feel like it's OK to date someone they aren't interested in because it's better than being alone. But really, if you're not crazy for someone to begin with, why date them? Even if they are sincerely interested in you, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're meant for you or that you should try anyway. In that situation, it's better just to accept the flattery of another person's affections and nicely let them know you don't reciprocate.
Secondly, don't do things to attract the attention of someone you're not interested in. It's so easy to walk around campus and flirt with everyone you meet unconsciously, but this is totally abused by both genders. By flirting with someone you wouldn't usually give a second thought to, you're giving them the wrong impression and setting them up to believe that they have a genuine shot with you. The general rule of thumb to controlling flirting is to only flirt with people you find attractive or think you could date. If you don't, you might find yourself settling for someone who thinks you're into them and you are too polite to tell them otherwise.
Third and last, it's a good idea to keep in mind that you'll find someone you adore sooner or later, whether you're not with anyone or the one you're with isn't quite doing it for you. Not only does it help you make it through those days where you feel way too single to function, but it also helps you be more positive and confident, which makes you appear more attractive. By settling, you ruin your chances of finding the kind of happiness we're all waiting for, and you may completely overlook the right person while you're at the side of the wrong one. It's within everyone's means to get what they desire, so while you're waiting, don't put yourself down and settle for less.
The next time you're considering starting a relationship with someone, make sure they're who you really want to be with. Or if you're still looking, fear not, your dream guy or gal may very well be reading this and decide to wait it out for you, too. Whatever your situation, don't ever settle for anything less than what you deserve. It's so worth it.
