The Observer, September 26, 2008
Volume XLI, Issue 5
Spartan Spotlight: Zeyad Schwen
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Zeyad Schwen is a senior defender for the men's soccer team. He went to Sycamore High School in "The Nasty Nati" (a.k.a. Cincinnati, Ohio). He is currently studying biomedical engineering, with the intent to attend medical school.
Greg Meyer: Who inspired you to play soccer?
Zeyad Schwen: My mom wouldn't let me play football so I just fell into it.
GM: I had to wait until the fourth grade to play football. Even then my dad had to sneak me to sign-ups. What makes soccer stand out from other sports?
ZS: You don't wear a cup unless you're Niro Wimalasena.
GM: Nothing like throwing your teammate under the bus in print media. Sorry Niro. What is your favorite quote?
ZS: "You know that look women have when they want sex? Me neither." – Steve Martin
GM: Great comedian, even smarter man. What is your worst soccer memory?
ZS: Skinny dipping with the team in Brazil in the middle of the night. The water was a little too cold.
GM: Two bad things about that: first, you cannot see what is in the water at night. Second, any fan of Seinfeld knows what cold water does to guys. If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
ZS: Gregory Peck or Robert Redford because they are manlier than everyone else combined.
GM: Legitimate answer. I wouldn't mess with Atticus Finch or the Sundance Kid. If you could participate in any other sport, which would you pick and why?
ZS: T-ball because it's probably the only other one I could actually be good at.
GM: I couldn't hit a baseball now to save my life. I like how you go from the sport with the most running to the least, though. What would we find in your locker right now that might surprise us?
ZS: A lack of steroids. I know, believe it or not, my huge biceps are 100 percent natural.
GM: OK, Barry Bonds. Now I see why you chose T-ball, no formidable drug testing policy. Last time I checked soccer was played with your feet, not your arms, Arnold. Who is the best athlete you've ever competed with and why?
ZS: Kyle Bednar, for obvious reasons.
GM: I know Kyle Bednar, and I cannot help but catch the sarcasm that is dripping from that answer. Finish this sentence: Soccer is like a girl because…
ZS: Just when you think you're about to score, Jon Milan ruins everything.
GM: Being a goalie, I guess he is just a natural at blocking stuff, huh? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
ZS: Married with 7-9 children and still winging for my boy Chris Cservak on the weekends.
GM: Nine children in 10 years? You better find a wife quick and go to work. What are some of your extracurricular activities and hobbies outside of soccer?
ZS: IHOP and I'm the prez of the senior class.
GM: There is nothing better than never-ending pancakes after a long night of, ummm…studying. Who's your favorite athlete?
ZS: Randy Moss.
GM: Only if he could have made it all four years at Florida State. Instead he goes to Marshall and now loses to the Fins on Sunday. What a shame. What is your best soccer memory?
ZS: Taking home a UAA championship and our NCAA tourney appearance sophomore year.
GM: It does feel nice to walk out onto that field everyday and see that banner hanging along the track, doesn't it? Would you rather have the strength of 1000 men, be able to fly, or be invisible?
ZS: Fly – walking is boring.
GM: That is starting to be the general consensus with this question. What's the one thing people don't know about soccer?
ZS: Rioting is encouraged.
GM: We'll expect big things on Saturday from the home crowd in that case. What is the high point in the soccer season?
ZS: Kudos bars after we win.
GM: Do you guys get oranges at the half too? Or juice boxes? Any insight on how the season is going so far?
ZS: All the seniors keep getting injured, but thankfully we have quite a few players who have stepped up and filled holes.
GM: Good luck with the rest of your season. Zeyad Schwen, everyone.
