Here at Sex, Inc., back in the early 1990s, we would often get questions from people about what “cyber sex” was and if it was something oh-so-naughty that needed to be avoided. Back then, being the 1990s, it was a struggle getting an internet connection fast enough that your sexy online someone didn’t look like a collection of rapidly moving blocks. Back then, we advised people to wait for technology to improve to help the experience. Now that broadband speeds have accelerated and computers do not take five minutes to start up, we’ve decided to reexamine the issue.
Cyber sex (as if anyone at Case Western Reserve University needs a refresher) is the idea that if you’re away from your sexy someone too long, you can take advantage of webcams and microphones to have mutual solo sexy times together. If “mutual solo” strikes you as an oxymoron, keep in mind the two of you will have no physical contact during cyber sex.
Now, as always, before clicking on this issue, keep in mind Prof. Naked’s ultimate advice: mutual consent! Dimly lit advances in a bar are one thing, but seeing someone’s fun bits on your new 21-inch monitor is just downright offensive (and could get awkward in some office environments). Your partner(s) must be open and willing to accept the idea of cyber sex before you spring it on them.
Having settled that everyone wants to click their proverbial mice in front of each other’s webcams, you can move on to the fun stuff! But how can it be fun without being awkward? Set some ground rules so no one does anything funky or just plain un-sexy. Try to keep in mind what you would do during actual sex. Would you really say “look at all my megabytes” in reference to certain body parts? Didn’t think so. Make sure you don’t do anything obviously cheesy. The whole situation can seem awkward enough at first, so don’t do anything to make it more so.
Now, along with cyber sex can come cyber cheating. Chat rooms like Omegle are notorious for their (mostly male) naked organs. Would your sexy someone be okay with you showing off the girls to some random person from the internets? Think carefully about whether or not your pants partner from the real world considers it cheating for you to go all Kony 2012 creator in a chatroom.
Looking back at the 1990s, back when dial-up was king and Pentium was all the rage, some our then-recommendations now require an addendum. Some, however, do not. Do find a private place for your cyber fun, and not an internet café. Nobody but you and your sexy someone(s) need to see and hear that. Don’t think that this gives you license to do stuff in the endless (and un-deletable) record that is the internet. Always ask for and receive consent before doing anything.
The digital world has changed a lot since the 1990s. But some things about relationships and sex have not. Whether or not you and your sexy someone decide to pursue cyber sex is ultimately up to you. But with today’s improved technology, it can be a fun outlet for many of those long-repressed feelings over extended absences. As long as you follow the rules of consent, have fun on the World Wide Web!