Sex and Dating: Role-play: my level 41 mage can do WHAT to your spartan warrior?

Prof. BuckNaked

Here at Buck Naked, Inc. International, we get a lot of questions related to role-playing. Questions like “Why does my boyfriend want to dress me up as a chocolate cake?” or “Is it normal to want to pretend I’m in a Starcraft match during hot and heavy bedroom action?” or “Why is it that my girlfriend and I are the steamiest when we’re done playing a Halo match?”

Well, fellow budding sexologists, this phenomenon is known as role-play. It’s nothing new – I’m sure King Henry VIII got a kick out of all those beheadings – but it can be a little daunting and confusing for those who’ve not tried it before.

The idea behind role-play is to use fantasy to further the erotic intents of those involved. This being Case Western Reserve University, where many are no doubt high in the clouds and yet never look up, it could be a simple matter for you to use all those long hours playing Dungeons & Dragons to your advantage.

Let’s say you are the kind of person that’s really into all things arcane and magic. You could try esoteric divination rituals over the person you want to enjoy your magic wand with. Cast spells over them, wear cumbersome layers of robes and jewelry, make it rain like the gods.

If you’re one of the rare breeds that enjoy Grand Theft Auto, have no fear – you too can jump on the role-playing bandwagon (but if you get arrested, Prof. Naked takes no responsibility). To create the aura of needless drama that the series evokes, try inviting your prospective someone up for “hot coffee.” They’ll surely get the reference if they’re well versed in the “streets,” and come jumping into your arms, all tattooed and ready. Then leave without a word and never call again. That’ll surely arouse passions.

Nobody likes an embarrassing faux-paus during sexy times, so make sure you brush up on your obscure role-play references, so as to not claim something like “Te Fires of Leonara” when you’re only a level 36 and you can’t do that until you’re a level 38. Make sure your pants partner knows that they should keep their role as Disney’s Beast as authentic as possible and that the giant monster suit is necessary for maximum pleasure.

So you’ve read up on all your Final Fantasy spells and techniques and your partner is all set to go dressed as Master Chief. Wait, what? To avoid an awkward situation, the role-play must be agreed upon and discussed beforehand. And make sure it’s clear that the role-playing can be stopped at any time if it gets too awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing, or just plain ridiculous. With all this in mind, feel free to pretend you’re the Sun King, wear tights, and dance for your sexy someone in an outfits fit for a Broadway production.