What’s Scarier than Pelosi & a Boehner? Not Much, Actually.

Steven Schoenwald, Running on Fumes

It doesn’t take long for someone to figure out I love summertime. Baseball, beaches, and overall warm weather serves as a reminder of how beautiful the Cleveland area can be. Even going to work seems enjoyable when the sun shines through the windows of an air conditioned shop. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The ominous foreboding of old man winter comes in the form of cooler days, falling leaves, and perpetually cloudy skies with a side of rainfall. There is no getting around it – I hate fall.

Often I hear of the colorful descriptions of Midwestern autumns and am reminded by others of nature’s beauty. Call me a pessimist, but to me, fall is the season of work. I don’t see the beauty in raking up wet leaves on a daily basis. I don’t particularly enjoy wearing layers of clothing while doing yard work, just to repeatedly take off and re-wear the same apparel after overheating from physical activity. I see little draw in preparing summer machinery for winter storage, or in draining outdoor water lines which will burst in winter if not properly emptied. The only positive aspect about the season is that football and basketball begin, providing me with an excuse to procrastinate well into the winter.

Even with the dreariness that fall weather brings, the worst season of all is the manmade spectacle of spew known as the political season. As the year drags on, so do mudslinging political ads that serve no other purpose than to test if you are even paying attention to the political world. Major political candidates have the unique opportunity to look like the nation’s savior one minute and a demented madman the next. Swiftboats away!

I have to think local political ads are even worse than national ads. Sure, you can agree to hate Bush and Pelosi with your neighbors and loved ones, but what about the local county auditor or councilman? Do I really need to watch a twenty second advertisement during the local news explaining how I can’t trust John Baird, local nominee for dog catcher? Of course not. I rather prefer the commercials that remind me that whoever I vote for, my taxes will be raised and my community will fall into greater rescission. They may be overdramatic and politically slanted, but at least they have a high likelihood of being correct – no matter the candidate.

For those of you who enjoy spending your free time outside or actually being studious, I commend you. Chances are you have a fond view of fall and are well rounded individuals. However, for the rest of us who can’t get enough of the glowing black box, a word of caution: expose yourself to as little TV as possible over the next few weeks, unless you feel like pulling your hair out and having your brain turn to mush. But hey, who knows? After midterms, that may be a good thing.