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The Observer

Case Western Reserve University's independent student news source

The Observer

Case Western Reserve University's independent student news source

The Observer

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Worst Case Scenario

I don’t know about everyone else, but I plan on relaxing and enjoying my final semester at Case Western Reserve University. I’m taking fun classes, with awesome professors, but there is a problem I’m having in one of them.

“Buzz Killington,” as he will be referred to, is a part of an otherwise highly enjoyable class, but every time he opens his mouth I want to jump out the nearest window. Considering my classroom is underground, that’s really saying something. I suppose I’ll just make like the Kool-Aid man and jump through the wall if worst comes to worst.

Let me back up a step. What is a “Buzz Killington” and what specifically defines it? Well, besides Family Guy, a lot of things. It is that loud guy who won’t shut up during class. It is the girl who always corrects everyone after they’ve given their opinion. It is that jerk who keeps laughing at the web comics he’s reading on his laptop or anyone who thinks that reading paragraphs of the textbook aloud at random is okay. Do they even recognize how annoying they are?

Yes and no. All of these are valid characteristics, but each Buzz is different and there is only one thing they will definitely all have in common: everyone else in your class will know who they are and will agree with you that they’re obnoxious. (Unless you’re Buzz, and you think that all of the above is okay to do. In that case I suggest slapping yourself with a trout or razorback shark.)

So I have a Mr. Killington in my class. I’m sure there are many other classrooms that enjoy his presence as well, possibly in higher numbers. What can you do about it? Throw him out the window? We already covered why that won’t work in my position. Let the other students heckle him quietly? Possibly even drop the class?

Don’t let Buzz ruin all your fun! Your education is more important than some sucker who can’t keep his mouth shut (and for anyone who knows me, yes, I am aware that I can’t keep my mouth shut either). Ignore him, and if that doesn’t work, amuse yourself by making it your mission to contradict everything he says.

He said science can only function with math, and goes into an intensely boring and irrelevant explanation on why his theory is superior to the professor’s? Point out that the class that you are in right now, which is technically a science class, is functioning perfectly well with no math at all. If the professor agrees, brownie points for you! If not, oh well; you’ve still annoyed Buzz, which was the main goal. Over the semester you can let up a bit, depending on how much you start to tune Buzz out.

If you ignore Buzz so much that he seems to disappear and instead of annoying dialogue you only notice a stifling silence in the classroom when he is speaking… Go see a doctor or stop taking LSD.

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