Kerby: Being fashionably late a major party foul

Steve Kerby, Staff Columnist

A weekend is a precious thing to waste. The average human, if they survive infancy, can expect to see over 3,500 weekends over their lifetime. I have seen about a thousand so far, and I am acutely aware of the relentlessly approaching threat of becoming old and boring.

If one is lucky, perhaps two hundred of those weekends occur during the precious four years of college life when the world is one’s oyster. Plenty of editorials give dozens of reasons to cherish your time at Case Western Reserve University, either for the friends made or the knowledge gained. I would add parties to that list.

No event better captures the free-wheeling spirit of student life than a weekend party. During the week there are plenty of exams and homeworks, but on Saturday night it’s time for fun. At a party, one can escape the daily drudgery of schoolwork for a night of dancing and Dionysian pleasures. It is a shame, then, that so much valuable party time is wasted in an effort to be fashionably late.

Numerous commentators, among them Urban Dictionary, point to one factor driving the phenomena. If someone arrives late to a party, the thinking goes, they must be popular and coming from another party. Furthermore, the anticipation of their arrival can grow the longer they delay, whereas their presence would be taken for granted if they showed up at 9 p.m. sharp.

We should discard such social norms if chasing them involves denying others predictability and enjoyment in their evening. I have seen too many hosts let their food go cold while waiting on a few absentees who are fashionably late. As the old saying goes, “Timeliness is next to cleanliness.” Arriving on time for a party means more festivities and a more memorable weekend.

Do not accuse me of being hobbit-like simply because of my distaste for being fashionably late. I can assure you there are dozens of other reasons why I am hobbit-like, but this is not one of them. I hold this position because I, like any reasonable person, want to have a good time at parties.

Good parties are not a dime a dozen at CWRU, but when they do come around they are even more appreciated due to their rarity. I like to think that CWRU is not a large party school, but rather an efficient party school.  

Being fashionably late and discarding all complex notions of social cues is simply an inefficient use of party time.  

Steve Kerby is a fourth-year student studying astronomy and physics. When he grows up he wants to be older.