Let’s talk about sex

Sophomore slump

Stephen Kolison

What I am about to talk about can be said using horrible euphemisms like “bump uglies,” “knock boots,” “boink” and even “buttering the biscuit,” or it can be discussed truthfully for what it really is: sex.

Sex is an odd topic to discuss because it can be many different things to many different people. If it were not funny to some people, then we wouldn’t have a plethora of sex jokes to make. If it were not a delicate subject, then we wouldn’t have sex ed and I wouldn’t have 50 people cringing as they read this.

The first semester of freshman year made it seem like we were thirstier than ever. Some of us immediately latched onto people we had just met. We would have been better off running away with a Nigerian prince because we did not know what we were getting ourselves into. Imagine being a kid who had never even thought about sex and getting pushed into an environment where all your new friends are getting busy while you just sit in your common room, sexiled. Now try amplifying that feeling to sophomore or even senior year.

College is confusing enough; first you had to worry about orgo and now you have to worry about orgasms. It’s confusing because the outliers are left with way more questions than answers.

As a sophomore, I can say that a full year on campus is more than enough time to answer those questions and observe the Case Western Reserve University sex culture. I think it should be acknowledged that sex in and of itself is awkward for everyone. We go to a small enough school where you will see that random hookup and flinch as you walk past them. Some of us have had that crush on someone who turns out to be gay while some of us have had that crush on someone who turns out to be straight. We’ve all seen the socially awkward kids pairing off and supposedly doing the deed while the more socially active kids are like, “Why the hell am I still single?”

There also seem to be two very different opinions about the sex culture on campus: Either people are so emotionally insecure they’d rather hook up or that everyone here is already in a committed relationship.

In this case I don’t think it is an either/or argument. Obviously a lot of people enjoy hooking up; we are young adults who are simply wired to want to have sex. Some of us may prefer casual sex because we do not have the time to be involved in a relationship. If CWRU students are always busy by reputation, balancing other responsibilities with a boyfriend or girlfriend who needs attention may be impossible. Sometimes, even if someone were available to be in a relationship, hookups are better for them because they don’t like the feeling of being smothered.

On the exact opposite side, you have the people who are so invested in their relationship, that they already have a down payment on their minivan. More permanent relations offer a security blanket and intimacy. Our CWRU couples may find that only hooking up can feel empty, or that sex is a connection between two people and not just letting off steam.

A good university is meant to be a microcosm of the real world. Outside of our own bubble, there are people hooking up, some not having sex and some who are extremely relationship-oriented. That sounds an awful lot like CWRU. We notice what is going on here only because we are cramped together in one setting and forced to interact, but once we get out into the world, we might find that no one is really going to notice our sex lives unless we make them transparent.

So yes, when you speak about college, maybe the topic of sex will be discussed. But frankly, these years are meant to be the time when we explore our sexuality without shame. Whatever is going on at CWRU sexually, it isn’t black and white.

Sex may not be a have or have not situation but maybe it’s on a spectrum. On this spectrum you can find people who are having sex recreationally to only having it as an extension of their relationship. You may find people not having it at all. Male or female, hooking up or not, as long as you’re doing it in a safe and healthy manner, all the power to you.

Stephen Kolison is a sophomore psychology major and pre-unemployment student. He is a jack of all trades and master of none in training, a member of IMPROVment and knits while watching Downton Abbey. He hopes to be a talk show host.