Seen at KSL…

Un-sCRWU your lifestyle

Theresa Smetona

With the semester coming to a close, deadlines drawing near and finals rapidly approaching, an increase in traffic at Kelvin Smith Library is to be expected. Garbage cans will overflow, printers will stop functioning (although that is hardly an irregular occurrence) and toilet paper will be conspicuously absent in every bathroom stall. The smell of coffee and Chinese take-out will pervade the air, and monster energy drinks will be found littered across the floor. Some frantic students will resort to fits of loud sobbing, while other more stoic scholars will quietly pull their hair out when failing to solve an equation for the fifth consecutive time. While KSL cannot be expected to be a haven of peace during these desperate times, there are a few measures that are often overlooked and, if followed, would make the general KSL experience a little more bearable.

This article has not so much to do with behavior in KSL as it does to references made to KSL in conversation or via social media. To begin with, refraining from making phrases using KSL would be nice. I don’t care if you’re KSLiving, KSLoving, KSLeeping or KSLonely—any variation you can think of has already been overused and has long since ceased to be entertaining. The same goes with referring to KSL as your boyfriend or significant other. Once, I may smile. Twice, I let it slide. Any more mentions are simply pathetic and put you in danger of appearing KSLame. Finally, bragging about how many hours you log on the daily at KSL does not impress anyone. If you’re trying to establish that you’re studious, then great, I’m glad that you are taking your education seriously; however, continually harping on about your dedication to KSL does not actually prove anything and only makes you seem desperate for commendation.

As far as behavior within the walls of KSL goes, it should be stated that if a particular action isn’t acceptable according to the established norms of society, it should definitely be refrained from in KSL. A few examples of what I’m referring to:

Please don’t pick your nose while pondering the mysteries of your physics homework. Your nasal cavity is not where you should go looking for food for thought. Prolonged staring is considered rude; even if you have chosen me as a muse in the hopes of inspiration for those last few pages, knowing that your eyes have not left my face for the last ten minutes is disconcerting and prevents me from being productive. Likewise, chances are my productivity is not at a very high level when you sit next to me and then start watching your favorite brand of porn. It’s completely inappropriate and disturbs those around you. A good rule of thumb is that if people are shooting disgusted glances your way and everyone has maximized their distance from you, your behavior probably should be modified.

Pillows are not necessary accessories in a library. Nor are rice cookers. In the first case, I understand that sometimes falling asleep is inevitable, but you should never plan on spending significant time passed out and drooling in the library. That is what your bed is for. As far as rice cookers are concerned, the dedication and foresight shown in bringing these to KSL would serve you far better if applied to other areas of your life. Unbelievable as it may seem, taking occasional breaks from studying actually increases productivity. So, if you’re really craving some rice, go back to your dorm, and cook and eat your rice in the comfort of your own room. Leave the scattered rice kernels in your kitchen, not on the couches of KSL. Along those lines, if you can’t keep the sounds of your mastication below a respectable level, consider avoiding eating on the third floor. Everyone will thank you.

During these next few weeks, let’s work together to make KSL a slightly less horrifying circus of gross behaviors and public embarrassments. May your studying be productive and inoffensive, and best of luck on finals!

Theresa Smetona is a senior majoring in Spanish and English. In her free time, she likes to drink coffee and consider the possible benefits of her future unemployment.