The Observer’s Super Bowl viewing guide
January 31, 2014
Eat a slice of pizza for every:
-Reference to Richard Sherman’s interview
-Shot of someone unnecessarily wearing sunglasses
-Reference to the game or player in question being “legendary”
-A coach feigns disbelief regarding a foul call
Chug your beverage every time:
-You are reduced to tears by a commercial
-The announcers talk about audibles
-A play goes under review
-Sideline reporter shown looking cold
Switch over to the Puppy Bowl when:
-Russell Wilson is called the “next Peyton Manning”
-They show the temperature and wind speed on screen
-A quarterback comparison appears
-Announcer mentions a player wearing gloves
Do a touchdown dance when:
-A team uses a timeout within the first five minutes of play
-A commercial highly features an adorable animal
-Katy Perry s sings something that is not family friendly
-They show a montage of sad fans
Order another round when:
-Tom Brady talks on the sideline phone
-Marshawn Lynch goes into “beast mode”
-Richard Sherman stares menacingly at a camera
-Any kicking holder can’t get the ball straight
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