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Academy awards predictions

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As the 90th Academy Awards approach on Mar. 4, The Observer staff shares its thoughts.

Sanjay Annigeri, Sports Editor: When Margot Robbie is giving her Best Actress acceptance speech, Tonya Harding will stand up from the audience and interrupt her to apologize to Nancy Kerrigan. Kerrigan will then get up and refuse her apology.

 

Colin Gilker, News Designer: “The Emoji Movie” wins Best Picture.

 

Shivalika Keni, Copy Editor: “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” or “Call Me by Your Name” for Best Picture; Daniel Kaluuya for Best Actor; either Frances McDormand, Saoirse Ronan, or Meryl Streep for Best Actress; Allison Janney for Best Supporting Actress; Greta Gerwig for Best Director; and “This is Me” for Original Song. Also, someone’s going to talk about diversity.

 

Eddie Kerekes, Director Web & Multimedia: There will be at least 20 Meryl Streep reaction shots. “The Shape of Water” will win Best Picture, empowering people with fish fetishes. Someone will be censored for swearing in their acceptance speech.

 

Amanda Li, Director of Design: Guillermo del Toro will make a slightly too explicit comment about the monster’s physique in “The Shape of Water.”

 

Sarah Parr, Social Media Editor: A “reporter” makes a sexist comment about a dress.

 

Sophia Yakumithis, News Editor: Last night, I had a beautiful dream–a prophecy, really. Leonardo DiCaprio and I were cuddled up in a plush seat somewhere in the audience of the Dolby Theatre, watching the Oscars in person. I recall him laughing at Jessica Chastain’s attire and booing the wins he thought were snubs—including Streep’s Best Actress, which, according to him, was a calculation by the Academy. His suspicions were confirmed when, in her speech, she stated that this was her final performance and the award was a commemoration for her career’s entirety. She said that she chose to make the announcement at that time to avoid precisely the accusations that Leo, my husband, made, but he saw right through her and kept it between us. God bless him.

Meanwhile, the guy from “Get Out” won Best Actor. No one contested, including Leo, because let’s face it, there was nothing rigged about that. “Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri” took home Best Picture; we weren’t mad, and then Leo took me home.

Disclaimer: I do not necessarily predict that Meryl or the Get Out actor will win, but since my dream told me, I must accept the prophecy which I was so fortunate to be exposed to. After all, I accept the other prophecy that is my husband. Here is my real list:

Best Picture: “Get Out” ; Best Actor: Gary Oldman; Best Actress: Frances McDormand; Supporting Actor: Willem Dafoe; Supporting Actress: Laurie Metcalf; Animated Picture: “Loving Vincent”; Cinematography: “Dunkirk”; Costume Design: “Phantom Thread.” The rest are not relevant to me.

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Academy awards predictions