The Athenian is actually not funny. Leutner is actually not that bad (the breakfast is kinda good). UMB is more rigged than USG. The football team is absurdly overfunded and has way too many...

You spend four years counting down the hours, minutes and seconds until you can escape. Not in a dramatic way, no chalkboard tally marks or existential dread—in quiet, habitual subtraction. One less...

Not one hour ago one of the photo editors asked me one of the most fearful questions that can be asked here at CWRU: “What is going on with all those green headbands?” It then struck me, the time of...

They haven't texted back in 3 hours. You:   A) Assume they hate you now B) Double text C) Post a hot picture on your story D) Don't notice until the next day   Your...

It was Florida. No one benefits from making the story up. Tyler says dolphins are the smartest creatures on the planet (next to humans) Florida's education system is number 1 in the united...

If you’re reading this, there’s a strong chance Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and you’ve just realized you are, in fact, still single. First of all: Breathe. Second: Congratulations, you still...

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You are looking at this Fun section. Then you are looking at the calendar. Next, you look slowly at the title… Back to the calendar. Your mind falls into a comatose...

Walk up to a couple and say:   Make direct eye contact with one of them and say: “Relex. I already deleted the videos.” “So are we pretending I don’t exist or…” “I hired...

First rule: If your date opens with “Sorry I’m late, Target was crazy,” and hands you a grocery bag containing one rotisserie chicken, protein bars, socks and a candle that smells like Garage, you...

When is graduation? Honestly, I’m not really sure. I could look it up, but I won’t. This is the first symptom. Welcome to the Worst Case Scenario of senior year: senioritis, a degenerative condition...